Gakupo X Luka: Regret part 13

Master knelt down in the door way and held out both of her arms. "Come here honey; that's it."
Gakupo stared at her crouched figure in the doorway and for a moment he couldn't imagine what she might have been doing.
Luka latched onto Gakupo's Jinbaori and watched, fixated on Master, unable to see over her shoulder into the room except for the yellow wallpaper and the mobiles which hung from the ceiling.
Master grabbed onto something and with a heaving grunt picked her up and balanced her on her hip.
Gakupo's jaw dropped in surprise as Master walked back into the lab carrying a child. Luka stared in disbelief as Master knocked away books and glassware with a sweep of her arm and cleared a small spot on one of the tables. She lifted up the child and sat her down on the table and looked over her with wonder.
She looked like she was only about six or so, with fluffy blond hair like SeeU's which curled around her face adorably. Master could tell she was well cared for.
"You don't understand." Amundsen mumbled at the floor trying to justify her to Master.
"I understand." Master said slowly noticing the vacant look in the little girl's eyes. The little girl's grass-green eyes.
"My god Amundsen." Master said turning to the old man who was lowering himself to the floor. "Why didn't you tell me?"
"It all happened so fast. It wasn't fair." Amundsen said choking on his word with tears.
Master was silent for a moment, and the only sound in the room was Amundsen's occasional sob. She turned back to the little girl and glanced at the other three Vocaloid.
Gakupo caught her eye and he stared, hypnotized as she nodded towards the child. As if to say "watch this."  
Master took the little girl's chubby hands in her own slender finger and asked her a few questions.
"What does this face mean?" and Master smiled a big toothy grin.
The little girl responded robotically and emotionlessly. "It is a smile."
"When do people smile?"
"When they are happy." She replied blankly.
"When are people happy?" Master pressed.
"When good things happen."
"Do good things happen to you?"
The little girl took a few moments to respond. "Er. Ah. My daddy buys me dresses and pats…my head." She said even more mechanically.
"And are you happy."
There was another long pause in the little girl before answering tonelessly. "Probably."
Master let the little girl's hands go and she covered her eyes with her hands. "She's really intelligent Amundsen….really really bright…"
Gakupo looked from Master, to the child, to the old man and a story started to form in his mind.
Master and Amundsen worked together on Vocaloids, that's how they knew each other. Amundsen left and built an animatronic child, but he couldn't figure out how to program in emotions.
"You don't understand." Amundsen said sucking back cool air that felt refreshing on his hot throat. His face was uncomfortably sticky, but he couldn't wipe it with his sleeve because it would smear blood all over his face.
"Yeah." Master finally admitted. "I'm starting to get that now."
She turned and threw something across the room at Gakupo, Gumi and Luka. Gakupo dove out to catch it forcing Luka to let go of his shirt.
Luka stood still for a moment, still shocked about the child, still reeling from the panic of almost loosing Gakupo, still pumped up on adrenaline from storming the house. She looked at her hands where the memory of Gakupo's cloak still lingered and she felt as though she had lost something.
Gakupo caught it and held it in his cupped hands. He opened them to find that 'it' was the car keys.
"Go home kids." Master said lowering herself down to the floor where Amundsen already sat. "I'll be back in a few days."
"No!" Gakupo said with a slightly hurt tone. "We're not going to leave you here!"
"Yes, you are." Master said strongly.
"No we're not!" Luka protested stepping up next to Gakupo. "We need you back at home; you have to come back with us!" Luka bit the inside of her cheek. She knew her argument sounded childish, but it was true.
"Honey." Master let the term of endearment flop out awkwardly and let it hang there a moment as she gathered her thoughts. "I've spent years and years in that house. More than I should have. That's what let it get this bad in the first place."
Amundsen looked at Master bewildered. She grimaced and continued.
"This is my fault. I neglected you, old friend."
"No, that wasn't it at all!" Amundsen argued but Master gently put her fingers to her lips.
"Yes, it is." Master started to say, then shook her head sadly.
"Just go home. Maybe help clean up a little bit. I'll be back in a few days."
Gumi held Gakupo's hand as he took one last look at the whole scene.  Two scientists, one young one old, sat together reflecting on miseries in a darkened lab. One had arms drenched in blood, the other had smears of black. Amongst the clutter was a little girl, who involuntarily had started the entire thing.
Gakupo thought he might remember the entire scene exactly that way forever as he wrapped one arm around Luka's waist pulling her close to him.
In single file they ducked out the empty space where the glass door used to be and wandered out into the snow.

"Are you alright?" Gakupo whispered pushing Luka's hair behind her ear gently as Gumi led the way through the snowy yard to where the car was parked.
"Shouldn't I be asking you that?" She said weakly.
"Maybe." Gakupo said swooping in for a tender kiss on her cheek. Luka felt her face heat up inexplicably as Gakupo continued. "But I know how you are. You try to bear every burden by yourself."
Luka almost began to argue, but Gakupo silenced her with a well-timed, slow steady kiss. They both stopped walking and fell into the passionate kiss happily.
Gakupo broke away from the kiss briefly. "You're the only person I want." he gasped and Luka leapt into his kiss and wrapped her arms around his neck.
"I need you Luka." Gakupo whispered as Luka broke away. "You keep me sane, you make me so…" Gakupo realized he didn't know what a good word was for the euphoria he felt when he looked into Luka's eyes.
Luka saw him searching for the right word and mischievously decided she had heard enough. She kissed him again and as her lip slid away from his the right word came to Gakupo.
"Elated!" Gakupo exclaimed and laughed as it began to snow. Luka giggled as tiny white crystals got caught in Gakupo's hair giving him a white halo.
She held his hand and tried to explain her feelings to him, but first she tried to sort them out in her own head first. "You make me feel so special..." she stumbled through the first words that came to mind.
"Gakupo, I didn't realize how much I relied on you!" Luka declared suddenly "At first I was afraid to lean on anyone too much, or to trust anyone to much, because I was scared of being hurt!"
Luka blushed deeply. Why was she saying this? Where had all of this come from?
"But with you, it doesn't even feel like I'm taking a chance. I WAS hurt Gakupo, but I hurt worst when I thought you'd been taken away!"
Gakupo watched Luka struggle with her new found feelings and he began to see the rest of Luka. He'd almost forgotten how self-reliant she was. He'd lost sight of the stubborn, independent girl in the throes of fawning over her and in the excitement of their new relationship. He remembered that he'd loved that part of her first, and foremost.
"So…um, what I mean to say is, uh!" Luka's words suddenly failed her and she was reduced to stuttering. Gakupo pecked her on the side of the cheek and Luka took in a deep soothing breath.
"I mean, um. I need you…too."
Gumi looked up and down the street trying her best to ignore the infuriating love-fest just behind her. She didn't see any black vans, even though there had been at least three when they arrived.
"Hmm, looks like the kid did it after all." Gumi said as she spotted the blue car that they had pulled up in down the street where they had been forced to park.
Gumi looked both ways before crossing the deserted street. "Okay guys, I'll drive!" she said suddenly as she began forming an evil plan.
"NO!" Luka cried out in horror, reflecting on the fact that the car could go faster than 120 miles per hour.
Gakupo looked at her curiously and Luka stammered out an excuse. "uh, ah,um…. I want to drive."
Gumi grinned. "If you're sure then I'll just sit in the back with Gakupo."
Gakupo shook his head. "Uh-uh. I call shotgun."
Luka took the keys from him and unlocked the doors while Gumi grouchily sulked in the back seat.
Gakupo felt his battery stating to dwindle and he reached out and touched Luka's arm. "I love you so much." He said as his voice began to quiver. "And I want you to know that you were my strength in there. I thought of you…" and his voice started to crackle and die.
"Battery's dying." He said as his smooth voice came out like static.
"Sit back." Luka demanded. "You have to conserve energy before we get back home."
"I need to tell you this now…" Gakupo insisted but Luka cut him off.
"That's fine, but I don't think I can carry you into the house if you're battery dies." Luka said.
"I'll do it!" Gumi chimed in from the back seat.
Gakupo would have responded but suddenly his body decided to stop working and almost immediately afterwards so did his vision.
"Crap, not again." He thought as he descended into a forced calm. He could still hear Luka and Gumi, but he knew it wasn't going to last long. He decided to just enjoy the peace, since he knew once they got home it would be swept away in some new drama. Oddly though, he was okay with that.
"Gakupo, Gakupo?" Luka called at him as the car revved to life.
"He's gone." Gumi said glumly. "So much for conversation."
Luka sighed. "I wonder if he can still hear us?"
"But I can, Luka my love." Gakupo thought dreamily.
Gumi looked at him, with his eyes closed and his expression blank and blushed. "I don't know. But doesn't he just look so peaceful?"
Then sounds were gone and all that was left for Gakupo was the stillness of his own thoughts while he waited in suspense for the blackness that came when your battery runs out.
Gumi's words still echoed in his ears. "Doesn't he just look so peaceful?"
Gakupo thought a while about what those words meant. Peaceful? He hadn't felt peaceful in a long time.
But was he peaceful now? Gakupo wasn't sure if peace came along he would be able to recognize it.
He still had so many questions. About the Master, about Amundsen.
He realized that even though Master knew everything about the Vocaloids, they knew very little about her. Gakupo felt that he knew next to nothing about her. He didn't know how old she was, or where she was born. He'd kind of only thought of her as something of a mother, with no life outside of the Vocaloid family; now he realized that she had lived before Project Vocaloid.
He still had so much to say. He wanted to tell Meiko and Kaito congratulations and ask them what it feels like to get married. He wanted to tell Luka everything that passed through his mind when he saw her face.
Gakupo thought back to the last time his battery was dying and he realized it was the night that his relationship with Luka began. The night he cast away his fears and doubts. When his battery was recharged he was literally a new man, with almost every part of his body reformatted to the standard Vocaloid design.
Now as the seconds ticked onward and Gakupo felt his time as a lucid thinker grow short he hoped that he would be a new man again. He hoped that he would be reborn without any fears or...
But then suddenly the last of his mind shut down and Gakupo was lost among the blackness in a dream of nothingness within the folds of the deepest of calms.
When Luka pulled into the drive way of the Vocaloid home there was a crowd outside in the snow. Dr. Evil had heard the alarm, talked to some of the Vocaloids and got the gist of what had happened and brought over all of the Vocaloids that were staying with him so that he could help repair some of the damage.
Dr. Evil had a tracking device on each of Master's three cars so that he knew when she would be coming to his house for a surprise inspection, he used the tracking software on his phone to tell all of the other Vocaloids when Master would be coming home, so they were all waiting outside when they arrived.
Gumi was the first person out of the car. She calmly and gravely walked to the passenger side door and slowly opened it. Gakupo who was leaning against the side of the door spilled out into her arms.
She unbuckled his seat belt and picked him up using her super strength.
Rin Len and Piko Utane stood in front of the older Vocaloids like Kaito and Meiko. When they saw Gakupo in Gumi's arms Rin gasped "Is he DEAD?" and Piko started to tear up as he prepared to start sobbing. Len turned as white as a sheet, but stood completely motionless saying nothing.
Gumi looked down sadly, but Luka punched her on the arm. "Don't play mean jokes like that!" Luka hissed. "He's fine!" she assured the teens "His battery just died."
Rin made an indignant noise "Gumi!!!" She roared as Gumi giggled and winked playfully carrying Gakupo to his room to get recharged.
Kaito fell to the floor on his knees and sighed as blood returned to his face and extremities. He honestly believed that Gakupo was gone. Vocaloid Lily laughed tossing her long straight blonde hair over her shoulder. "Oh, Kaito-nii! You need to learn when Gumi is just joking!"
Meiko jealously lodged herself in between Kaito and Lily as he helped him stand up and they followed Gumi into the warm house.


Gakupo felt energy surging through him. His mind and his words began to start up again.
"…regrets." He finished his earlier sentence.
"What?"
Gakupo looked up and realized that he was on his bed with Luka looking over him familiarly. He was plugged into his power cord and he was safe at home. With Luka.
"No more fears or regrets." He repeated throwing his arm around Luka and pulling her down over him.
Luka toppled unsteadily and she gasped, her mouth in a surprised 'o'. Gakupo planted a wet kiss on her expectant lips and she broke away as she pulled herself upright.
"My heart is yours and yours alone, princess." Gakupo hummed as Luka shook off her surprise.
"Did you hit your head or something?" Luka said chuckling as Gakupo turned himself around to face her.
"Maybe." Gakupo said basking in her beauty. The sun was rising and cast her skin in a glorious orange glow, making her soft pink hair gleam with shades of crimson. Gakupo ached for her.
"Or maybe I just realized how much you mean to me. Maybe I just realized how much I depend on your smile." Gakupo said as Luka tossed her soft, silky hair over her shoulder.
"You're so sweet." Luka said grinning shyly.
"I'm serious." Gakupo said earnestly. "I want you, I need you. I worship you."
He sat up in his bed and Luka turned a dark shade of red that he had never seen before.
"Am I dreaming?" She whispered beneath her breath.
Gakupo reached out to her and kissed her. "Maybe." He admitted "But could you do us both a favor and never wake up, if this is a dream."
Luka felt her head spin as Gakupo pulled her into his arms in a warm, tender embrace.
"Gakupo, wait!" Luka said putting her hand on his chest and pushing him away softly.
Gakupo let himself be pushed, but he was perplexed. Why was Luka acting so standoffish? Why was Luka being so distant?
"What's wrong?" Gakupo asked her in a gentle whisper.
Luka looked away from him embarrassed; her face was hot and red as a tomato. "Um, maybe you might want to do this some other time?"
"What?" Gakupo exclaimed "Other time?" He was about to ask why when he turned his head slightly and noticed that Luka was not the only other person in the room with him.
Sweet Ann covered her mouth with her hands to hide the wild laughter that Gakupo could hear and Kiyoteru leaned against the door with his arms crossed grinning. Gumi had covered her entire face with both of her hands and was sitting in his closet trembling and Len was on the ground beating his fists against the floor laughing hysterically.
Gakupo's jaw dropped and he felt all of the blood rush away from his face.
"Oh." He said flatly trying to hide his embarrassment and horror.
"Yeah." Luka said pushing Gakupo back down onto the bed where he sat numb with shock. "Oh."



Master watched the Vocaloids leave through the hole in the glass and she felt a cold chill blow in from the outside. She would pay to fix Amundsen's door, later.
"None of this is your fault Nicolai." Amundsen grunted into his hands. "You had no part in it. It was all my doing."
"Ah, and that…" Master said watching the little girl swing her legs absentmindedly where she sat on the counter. "That is where we are both wrong."
Master sat next to Amundsen on the floor and to her it seemed as natural as if they had been close friends all of these years. She had a vague sense that something wasn't quite the same, but nothing strong enough to act upon.
"I had no part in any of this, and yet it is still my fault." She said pulling a box of toothpicks out of her pocket. Years ago she had quit smoking, but whenever she needed to focus or think hard she still required something to gnaw on or hold in her mouth. It was the one habit from her past that she just couldn't cure.
Master stuck a toothpick into the side of her mouth and offered the box to Amundsen who refused her with a wave of his hand.
"I don't quite understand you, Nicolai." Amundsen said as his fingers hovered near his lips, preparing to be chewed on. "Maybe I never have."
Master smiled sadly and her toothpick flipped up and down in her mouth. "I've kept tabs on you all of these years Toby. I've tracked your success and your business."
Master used her tongue to switch her toothpick to the other side of her mouth. "So I knew when the accident occurred."
Amundsen shook his head and looked at Master curiously. "You don't mean?"
Master sadly nodded. "I knew about the accident. But even so, I never sent you a single letter. I never visited you in your grief. I never saw you at all."
Master stared at Amundsen as she made her point. "I NEGLECTED you."
Amundsen slowly rubbed his temples. "What good would that have done?" he grumbled. "I only considered you as a reference and as an afterthought while making her; only in terms of project Vocaloid."
Master bowed her head in acceptance "Maybe so," she mumbled over the narrow piece of wood.
"But tell me this." She said suddenly with a quivering voice. "If you had, even once, been rescued from that god-awful loneliness that comes after a loss; even once. And don't tell me that you weren't lonely. Would it have turned out quite this way?"
Amundsen didn't know what to say. He'd never given any thought to what might have been, he'd been too deeply immersed in what WAS. He'd thrown himself so deeply into making his child; he never quite had the opportunity to come up for air.
Should he have tried reflecting on all of the different options after the accident? Amundsen thought so, but he realized that he had never really taken any time to think. As soon as it had happened he had lost himself in his work. He realized now with a twinge of sadness that he hadn't even taken the time to mourn.
Master looked down suddenly. "They just don't get it. Non-programmers. The crushing loneliness that comes from hours of ticking away at the keys. You can get so lost in it that it consumes your life."
Amundsen listened to her for a moment then grunted a reply. "Tell me about it."
Master laughed. "I'm sorry," she said. "This is YOUR intervention isn't it."
She sighed. It felt good to laugh again, even a little. Her eyes fell back on the little girl and she wondered silently "What are we going to do with you?"
But all she said was "I notice that she has her eyes."
Amundsen almost didn't hear the question. He was lost in thought. It finally dawned on him that he was lonely. Lonely. Lonely.
Lonely was the right word for what he was feeling. Lonely was the perfect word. It epitomized all of those restless nights and all of those empty hours that he had spent throwing himself into work and other tasks.
Lonely was exactly how he felt, going to the frozen yogurt bar alone for the first time in three years, lonely was how he felt when he realized that the only thing to wake up to in the morning was the monotone buzzing of his alarm, lonely was how he felt when he realized that not only was he without a car, but also without a reason to want to go out anymore.
And worst of all; lonely was how he felt when he had started up his new child, and she had nothing to say to him.
He remembered vividly that night. He'd had so much hope after so many years of tedious and laborious work; but when she opened her eyes for the first time there was nothing.
No light, no reflection, no thoughts. No feelings, no heart.
Amundsen groaned then answered. "Yes, she has Marie's eyes. I re-made them painstakingly by memory. It took a long long time, but I can still remember her eyes best of all."
Amundsen let his hand drop into his lap. He decided he would try to fight the impulse to bit them. "Her eyes, haunted me for quite some time. She had a way of staring at a person so…"as Amundsen looked for the right word he saw Marie's eyes once again, as clear as they had been the day he met her.
"So steadily. She would catch you with her startling eyes and she would hold your gaze."
Amundsen mused his thoughts a little bit. He hadn't thought of Marie, dear Marie too often since the fatal accident on the cold road in the mountains of her home. He was afraid that if he let himself mourn, that would make her death real.  But tonight he sat with his old friend and thoughts of Marie didn't HURT anymore.
They were welcoming and gentle.
As was the feeling of calm that was spreading over him. He began to feel drowsy and he realized that he needed some sleep in the worst sort of way.
"…I'm tired." He said finally after what he figured to be a long silent pause. "We can work on her a bit tomorrow."
The words sounded strange coming from Amundsen and he discovered that he had never put off working on his child before. He'd always worked as though there was some kind of deadline, often past the point of exhaustion.
"If you're sure." Master said feeling a bit sleepy herself. "Oh, and I broke one of your windows. I'll pay for it."
"Whatever." Amundsen said lifting himself off the floor and listening to his joints creak. He walked over to his robot-daughter and she gazed up at him blankly with Marie's dark-green eyes.
"Time for bed." He said picking her up and holding her tenderly, like he would've his own child. She made a mechanical bleating noise in response. Amundsen was use to this, though it had surprised him when he first heard her bleat instead of speak. He figured that maybe when she had emotions she would know how to respond normally.
"Just go pick a room; whenever you're ready tomorrow we can start." Amundsen said carrying his daughter back into her room.
He laid her down in her pink canopy bed and she allowed herself to be propped up on fluffy yellow and pink pillows. She stared at him as he tucked her into bed, accidentally kicking aside some story books she had propped up next to her unopened toy chest.
Amundsen picked up the books and read the titles: The snow queen, the seven swans, and the river princess; All fairy tales that he himself had grown up on. He'd saved the books from his childhood for his child and he was glad to see that they were being read.
"Are these good stories?" He asked fearing the answer.
"Probably." She said monotonously.
Amundsen grumbled as he re-shelved the books, careful not to harm their worn, torn paperback covers. He looked up and saw Master standing at the door watching him as he climbed over the child-sized table and chairs in front of the book shelf.
"Never thought I'd see you here." Master said. "Never imagined you with a kid. Makes me feel old." She said rubbing her bloodshot eyes with the back of her hand. "What's her name anyhow? You haven't said it yet?"
Amundsen walked over to the doorway as his child slowly closed her eyes and descended into a dreamless sleep. He turned off the light and shut the door knowing that she would not wake up until about eight in the morning.
"Her name is Hikaru." He said staggering through the garbage on the floor of his lab as he tried to remember where his bedroom was. It had been so long since he'd been to bed; he usually just passed out from exhaustion in his swivel chair. "Marie picked it out."